Tony Saint’s script is positively dripping in cliché. From cardboard villains to insipid heroes, The Interceptor is about as lame as television gets. It’s the usual fare of guns, hits and drugs and as such yet another homage to gangster culture. Guns eh? So cool, so sexy. Yawn.
The programme is hardly helped by the fact that our hero - Craig David lookalike - Ash (O T Fegenbie) seems to be suffering from an acute case of charisma bypass. Predictably, he’s a man on a mission: To rid the streets of London of that particularly loathsome specimen: dreadlocked caucasian. And rightly so.
Drugs and dreadlocks? Get it? Ash is on the trail of Paul Kaye (aka Denis Penis) an absent-minded villain who has apparently lost the Three K’s. But what or who are the Three K’s? Well, it turns out The Three K’s are not a cabaret band as you might have expected and Kaye is not their tour manager – k is gangster shorthand for kilos – and kilos mean drugs, my son.
Meanwhile Ash is recruited by elite dreadlock hunters UNIT – a force also dedicated to eradicating dodgy haircuts from our streets. UNIT are a force to be reckoned with lead by mild-mannered Scottish librarian (Ewan Stuart) aided by school dinner lady (Lorraine Ashbourne) and a couple of fresh faced recruits in Martin (Charlie de Melo) and Gemmill (Jeany Spark) who look like they are filling in time with the secret service between catwalk assignments.
UNIT operate out of a disused B and Q storeroom where they er… intercept things. Villains and slags beware. Before they find the Three K’s they should really find The Two M’s: Method and Motivation. Stuck with this dud of a script, that will be no mean task. Who would be an actor? Intercepting villains will be child’s play by comparison.
And so it trundles on. The bad guys try to be evil, but just get ludicrous. The more this went on, the more Paul Kaye and Lee Boardman looked like the ugly sisters from Cinderella. Perhaps the writing was on the wall when original lead actor David Gyasi left the show in the early stages due to a ‘leg’ injury. Smart move, David.
We’ve been here many, many times haven’t we? The Interceptor would so love to be The Sopranos. But it isn’t. Period. In fact It brings nothing at all to the genre. It’s essentially TV for the sake of TV. An exercise in futility. I’d reckon there is at least one fat cat BBC ‘executive’ ducking in and out of corporation broom cupboards this morning. Embarrassing.
Let the yanks do the crime dramas, after all it’s in their DNA. Us Brits? Let's stick to what we do best: costume dramas. At least this way programmes like The Interceptor could be avoided.
Will Ash find the right beanie? Will Kaye get a decent haircut? Will the Three K’s reform for one final emotional reunion? Will The BBC ever produce a totally riveting, unmissable drama series ever again?
There are in the life of every actor, projects they'd rather forget all about, the type of productions they laugh about once a decent amount of time has elapsed since release dates. The Interceptor is one such show. They'll laugh about it one day: The Interceptors? OMG! How bad was that...!
If you tune in for part two of this serial, then bro you have my undying respect. You only have another seven – yes seven hours of this to sit through.