BBC3’s documentary ‘Is Britain Racist?’ must surely take the prize for the most disingenuous title of any television programme ever made. For this blend of dogma and assumption backed up with primary school science had just one aim: To show all people of (white) British ethnicity just how racist we truly are.
And it's no good denying it either. That only goes to prove you are a racist with a capital R. So, just admit it.
For an organisation that promotes multiculturalism and diversity with a zeal that makes the Spanish conquistadores look exemplars of moderation, this was nothing more than an exercise in futility, by the faculty for the faculty.
The answer to this ‘question’ was of course never in doubt. Okay so I’m exaggerating (it’s catching) there were two possible answers: Yes, Britain is very racist or Yes, Britain is very, very racist. I would use the term 'whitewash,' only I’m terrified that a crusading zealot such as Mona Chalabi would label me racist and attempt to destroy my career.
From the pseudo-scientific ‘experiments,’ which featured setting off shop alarms and also included that tried and tested barometer of prejudice – The Doughnut Test, taking in sweeping generalisations and breath-taking bias along the way, this programme was deeply flawed in both concept and execution.
The biggest problem in a closet groaning under the sheer weight of dogma, simplicity and bias was the fact that this programme had absolutely no intention of engaging in rational debate at all. It had already made up its mind: Yes Britain is racist. We’re all racists, but white racism is worse than any other kind.
Apparently, some racism is worse than others! The prejudice of white, British people is by far the worst. Ethnic minorities cannot be racist – it’s a white disease you see, Black people, Asians are immune from it. Or are they?
An unpleasant surprise laid in store for presenter Chalabi, a bristling, pouting mass of indignation. Apparently she has a ‘slight’ preference for white people!’ Shock! Horror! Chalabi was shaken to her politically correct core. OMG, like I’m a Racist! Note, her preference for ‘white’ (whatever that meant) was only ‘slight' (whatever that mean).
Others were not so lucky. Chalabi hijacked (can I even say that word in this context?) some (Caucasian) drinkers who had the misfortune to be out having a pint as she stalked the streets of London intent on exposing racists.
One poor girl was practically berated for never having considered going out with a black man! The poor lady looked genuinely apologetic as Chalabi harangued her, stopping only just short of accusing her of full blown racism.
Thoroughly ashamed of herself for being such a raging racist – unconscious or not – the poor girl offered the explanation that she did not actually know any black people. Chalabi just sneered. She’d uncovered a racist! High Five BBC!
Another young woman, Hindu this time – was forced to admit that in her culture - surprise, surprise - Hindus often marry…Hindus! In Chalabi’s confused mind, marrying someone of your own culture, race or religion strongly suggests racist tendencies. Better watch out world. Chalabi’s got your number.
Crikey this BBC acolyte has got me worried. I’m Caucasian and so is my wife. It gets much worse than that: I’ve never dated a black woman. In Chalabi’s book that makes me nothing more than a white supremacist.
It ended ok for Chalabi. She took the test again, this time as a black woman, which was yet another interesting claim in a show packed full of interesting claims. Primed for the test, this time Miss Chalabi passed with flying colours. She’s racially ‘neutral.’ Phew! Close call.
It just went from bad to worse. The cameras rocked up in a Jamaican café in Ossett, a place that was described with some relish as apparently 98% white. Just the type of place then to conduct an objective analysis of the race question. For some reason the programme chose not do a similar enquiry into heavily populated Muslim or black areas.
This was television that ought to have come with a warning – a large 'B' for bias and a large 'S' for simplicity. In the holier-than-thou minds of Chalabi and her ilk, the world really is black or white, racist or non-racist, tolerant or intolerant. Chilling to think then that it's the likes of Chalabi and friends at the BBC who decide into which category we all fall.
Debate is usually something to be welcomed. Only this wasn't a debate, it was an insult to the intelligence of anybody with an IQ stretching into double figures.