Little did I know when I bought this infernal device just over a year ago I was inviting in to my house my very own Trojan horse. I guess I should have known. The signs were there. "Stay away from Kodak," they said. But like some pigheaded teenage girl I thought I knew best.
Where others had failed before me, I was going to tame this bad boy printer.
The Kodak ESP3250 could just be the world's worst printer. I mean when it comes to scanning a document it's easy right? Not with this little beast it ain't. You press the 'start' button and wait. And wait...
The damned thing churns away, so something is happening deep inside the mechanics of this sick joke of a printer. It grinds away and for a brief moment I'm flooded with optimism. Will it actually scan this time? I've asked it nicely, I've begged it, I've even made wild promises to change my ways for ever, if only the damned thing will scan.
But no. The grindings and churnings are just that, grindings and churnings. It sounds like a cement mixer, but at least with a mixer you get an end result...
Once it actually did scan a document. Far from feeling elated I was incandescent with rage. So it can scan after all. I mean thats not on, if it's faulty or broken or whatever then that's something, but to suddenly scan after months of stubborn refusal..well it was like getting the two fingers. As if the ruddy thing was actually taking the piss out of me...
And after this rare event? Nothing. Not a sausage. Grindings galore, but no scans.
I did exactly the same procedure. Goddamit I even wore the same jumper, convinced it had been a lucky charm. But nope. No scans here.
And if that weren't bad enough the little blighter has just well and truly rubbed my nose in it.
Today I attempted to print out a document, a single piece of A4 paper, something which I have been able to do without too many problems in the past. All well and good. Well not quite.
"Print Error" reads the message in red letters. Odd, as I've only recntly replaced the ink cartridge. And then it all becomes clear. The printer is out of colour ink! Now why didn't I think of that?
But I don't want to print in colour, I never print in colour. I just want to print one document in black ink -my black ink cartridge is full, so just let me feckin' well print my document!!
No way Jose.
Cunning bunch of skunks, those Kodak people. You can't print out in black unless..you guessed it, you have a colour cartridge installed - furthermore a colour cartridge with ink and not empty like mine.
When you innocently print in black apparently the colour cartridge is supplying er...grey ink for this process. Yes, you got it. It means that your colour cartridge is running down every time you print in er..black.
So, here's the choice: either keep buying their expensive colour cartridges or don't print at all.
Thanks a lot Kodak.