This time it's Jack Straw - a permanent parliamentary fixture in his cosy, safe seat up in Blackburn. So safe, in fact that Jack-the-lad indulged in a spot of mutual back scrubbing with a local furniture making company, who coincidentally, were awarded a very lucrative government contract of a cool £80 million to suppply furniture to Westminster, only after that is, Jack had had a quiet word in the right lugholes in the cosy corridors of power...
Jack's reward is a place on the board of said company once he finally leaves Westminster, after so manfully serving us, the public, for over 30 years. Nice work, if you can get it.
Imagine having your own business and a pal like Jack Straw to help you land those juicy government contracts. And all you have to do in return is to offer him a nice little place on the board, where he will be paid bucket-fulls of cash for playing golf.
In reaction to this latest scandal to rock the political establishment, Tory MP Adam Afriyie - speaking on the BBC's Newsnight this week - blamed the paltry £67,000 that the poor things are supposed to live off. Apparently it's simply not enough and that's why MPs have second, third and fourth jobs, and that's why most of them pay spouses £40,000 a year to 'look' after their office. And that's without the massive expenses claims.
Think about it: could you survive on a joint income of only £110,000 a year? Ok, paying for everyday things the rest of us have to cough up for, like parking meters, petrol and mortgage repayments would indeed be a thing of the past, still it can't be an easy life struggling on a 100k can it?
Is it little wonder these people don't give a damn about ever increasing petrol prices? They never pay for the damned stuff!
All of which brings me to my main thrust.
Every so often, if the topic arises, I occasionally reveal a secret about myself. Now it's nothing sordid, but it's certainly not the thing one shouts about from the rooftops either. People's reactions are, well reactionary.
"What! You mean to say you don't vote! Don't you care about democracy?" they ask, incredulously. I take a deep breath at such junctures, roll up the sleeves and go forth into battle, ready to fight against the tirade of platitudes and soundbites I know full well are heading my way. And so the secret is out. I don't vote. Never have. Never will.
Is it worth explaining to these zealots that by actually voting, one is simply upholding a political system that has more holes in it then Blackburn, Lancashire or the financial accounts of that town's MP? Is it worth explaining I wonder, that by taking part in this so-called democratic exercise you are actually validating the likes of Straw and co. and their actions? That you are inadvertently helping to create an anti-democratic society?
Is it worth it? Probably not.
You see, dear reader there is a very good reasson why the political system of the 21st century has barely moved on since Magna Carta from the 14th. Oh yes, they'll murmur of 'reform' once in a while when the latest expenses scandal breaks, but seriously, what kind of turkey votes for xmas?
In fact, our so-called democracy has never really been that democratic. Shock! Horror! Whisper it, but it was never supposed to be democratic, it just had to look democratic enough to fool the masses. And by and large it has worked pretty well. I mean every other body who gasps in horror when I reveal my little secret, is evidence enough that the wool has been well and truly pulled over the eyes of most simple folk.
Casting your vote is trumpeted as the ultimate act in democracy. Your moment to hold your leaders accountable. Well that's what they want you to believe, the so-called leaders. Oh yes they desperately want you to buy into the system, because after all, it's validation they want, a mandate to bestride the world, pocket their expenses and accumulate a few directorships here, a few Non-exec positions here. Oh yes being an MP can be a very lucrative career path indeed. Just ask Straw or Blair or how about Kinnock.
Ah, Neil Kinnock. An abject failure. A man whom you wouldn't even trust to feed your goldfish. An alleged socialist who now collects £250,000 a year plus expenses for a non-entity pen-pushing position somewhere deep within the bowels of the EU, where he is kept in order so he cannot wreak any of his own special brand of havoc upon the real world. And then there's Mrs K, happily riding the EU gravy train herself to the tune of another £250 K. That's a lot of K's. Kerching!
By now even the most enthusiastic puppy-dog supporters of our 'democracy' must at least be asking themselves a few questions.
Questions like: Why do these people want to become MPs? Why did the Kinnocks enter public life? (Hmm...tough one that.) Easy! For the public good. These individuals just want to make life better for us! Ah, bless. They come into politics... to make a difference. And to be fair, that is precisely what they do. With £500k a year tucked into the their (offshore?) account, the Kinnock's have certainly made a difference to their lifestyle, and Blair has made a signifcant difference to his bank balance so I'm told. And Mr Straw has certainly made a difference to his future employment and wealth prospects.
"Cynic!" Cry the believers. "There's always one or two rotten apples in every barrel."
Ok, so what about David Laws' dodgy property arrangements? Oh and then there was former Home Secretary's Jaqui Smith's rather quaint domestic arrangements and I understand that Hazel Blears is quids in after flipping and selling her tax-payer funded residences a couple of years ago. Do I really need to go on?
Oh yes we're so very smug about our political system and what we call democracy aren't we? But just how democratic is a system in which a disproportionate amount of MPs come from a small handful of institutes such as Oxbridge and public schools? And the few who don't take this route have been operating in awfully respectable spheres such as the law prior to taking up their tenures. Not many ex-crane drivers or builders on the benches as far as I can see. And the only cleaners you'll find in this gaff, are the ones scrubbing the floors for a minimum wage. Funny kind of Democracy, that.
Furthermore, have you ever wondered about those candidates stood smiling on the political podium, eager to get your vote? They don't just materialise out of thin air. They are selected. And just how do you think they are 'selected?' Well allow me to enlighten you. They spend their time forming allegiances, greasing the wheels, sharing nibbles, scratching backs, in short doing anything and everything they have to do in order to curry favour with the local political heavyweights of their chosen party.
Oh yes, these prospective candidates will not stop at anything to get their names on the top of preferred candidates for Westminster. It's dog eat dog. After all, there's a very big prize awating the winner: a seat as an MP. Kerching!
But just let any Joe Bloggs hop along to his local party office and announce his or her intention to stand as a candidate in the next election. Er, no, not quite. Our democratic system is not that democratic. You see there's democratic and democratic. They're sort of different. There's a pecking order here. Democracy isn't here to just serve every Tom, Dick or Harry who fancies a slice of the democratic pie.
If however, you have been to the right school (private) and the right university (Oxbridge) you will find your path to power considerably smoothed.
I could go on indefinitely, but by now you're probably starting to twig that our fabled 'democracy' is not quite as democratic as you think. You may even have started to twig that when you arrive at the polling booth, puffed up with a grandiose sense of democracy, that you might just be supporting a system that is, in fact, anything but democratic. Or maybe not.
But Democracy is all about choice I hear you say. Ah choice. So let's see what we have on offer. You could vote for someone who went to Eton, alternatively you could vote for a barrister (who has been to Eton), or how about a barrister who has been to Oxbridge, but not Eton? You think barristers are limiting the gene pool? Quite right. How about a candidate who is not a barrister, but went to Harrow? Now, that is choice.
I mean, who amongst us really believes there is any ideological differences, any real difference between say a Clegg, or a Cameron or a Milliband? Tony Blair chose to wear the badge of Labour simply because - as he saw it - The Labour Party gave him a better chance of achieving his political ambitions. And you thought he was a genuine socialist? Tut, tut.
The pro-voters will bleat: Ah, but without our (two-party) democracy, you get dictatorships. True, but I must say I do sometimes struggle to see any major difference between say, a one party system and our own two-party system (Two parties? As many as that?), especially when the choice lies between a Cameron or a Miliband. Drowning or suffocation: The 'choice' is yours.
Are not the political class essentially just another form of dictatorship, but one wearing different clothes? I certainly don't see anything to distinguish any of them from one another. Let's face it, it matters not a jot whether it's Cameron, Clegg, Miliband or even Farage sat in Number 10, petrol prices will still rise inexorably, 'consultancies' will still prove to be very lucrative and tax 'avoiders' will still avoid their taxes.
A change of government huh? Did you really notice? Gas bills go down instantly did they? Rotten apples ejected from the House and manacled? Blair brought to book? Blears banged up? Nah, didn't think so. This Democracy thing really does work, dunnit?
It's not all doom and gloom however. There is a solution to our current, broken system. There is an alternative to sitting MPs like Straw and the arrogance and abuse that goes along with such positions, there is an alternative to career politicians and their abuse of the public purse. There is also an alternative to the vested interests inherent in party political funding and the associated can of worms it brings.
In fact it's rather simple. Too simple perhaps.
Just as society elects jurors to engage in public duty so too should MPs be chosen; by computer, randomly selected to serve one - just one - term only. I can feel the corridors of Westminster shaking just at the very suggestion. What? No jobs for life! No safe seats? No smooth path to power? No favours, no funding, no fiddling? Heaven forfend!
But just think about it: a true model of democracy, one where citizens are called to do their duty and nothing more. No lucrative careers to follow, just a return to civvy street. Oh dear, what would poor old Jack Straw do then, poor thing? No cosy directorships or consultancies? Why the hell would anyone want to become an MP then?
I mean, what would be in it for them?
Too radical? Too democratic perhaps? My little suggestion would not be for everyone, I know. But you have to admit, such a system would wash away the current political sewage once and for all, would it not?
Of course it will never happen. I know that. Because at the end of the day we're all far too happy with our version of democracy, from MP to voter, nobody really wants to rock the boat.
And so I continue as a non-voter. Candidate A, B or C - they mean nothing to me, literally. I care not whether they represent the banana, cucumber or custard parties. I just know one thing: Anybody who wants to be an MP is precisely the type of person who should never be allowed within a hundred miles of Westminster.
And now you know how to stop them. So, who's going to vote for my Alternative Governmental Model or AGM as I have chosen to christen it?
Now that's what I call democracy. What about you?