I, like countless others, am still not earning over the threshold limit of £29,000 or whatever and it's a long time since I actually graduated. And what is more I am absolutley certain I will never do so.
And so I go through the yearly ceremony of completing the form - pretty simple really - and popping it in the post to Glasgow for someone to put into my file no doubt.
Ah, but this year something's changed. This year the good old government backed Student Loans company have been replaced by a company called Erudio.
Earlier this year the minister in charge of these things sold off the old Student Loans company and with it some £900 million of debt to Erudio for a mere £150 million. Nice business Erudio. They must have seen this blundering idiot Willets coming.
And now guess what?
Erudio are rather keen to cash in on this very tasty deal, which means they want us (mostly) impoverished ex-students to cough up. Well there's nanny fees to pay and trophy wives to keep happy for the Erudio directors...
Which brings me to the deferment form itself. This year I am obliged not only to virtually disclose my family history to these guys, but also to take out a direct debit to them.
But hang on a sec, I do not earn over the threshhold, so I am not obliged to pay back the loan. That matters not a jot to these boys. Taking out a direct debit is obligatory, even if you are not obliged to make repyaments..
I can almost feel the intent, feel them breathing down my neck ready to spring into action. Scanning the net I note plenty of horror stories about people having money taken from their accounts by Erudio even though they should not be paying back their loans under the terms of their contracts.
'Oversights' say Erudio. Hmmm,..
Now I'm just waiting for them to make an 'oversight' on my account. Apparently they have a nasty habit of 'mislaying' deferment forms and then gleefully helping themselves to your account.
So, thanls a lot to David Willets and friends. Not only have they sold off Student Loans for a song, they've also put thousands of innocent people into the hands of a bunch of debt collecting cowboys..
Yes Willets, they're in it solely for the profit you total dawk.
A toast then to Willets. Is he and his cronies on the board of Erudio? Nothing would surprise me.